not so same difference
Tuesday, January 19
today was the first assembly we've had since school ended last year. things couldn't be more similar to when it had been the last day.
once again we stood where we stood as year4s, with the placing of OG10 making it such that i stood near where 4.9 used to stand.
folding my arms and taking the same stance i always took during assembly, i closed my eyes and let the moment sink in, letting all the memories and nostalgia of the lovely days of yore flood my mind as the droning voice of the teacher giving devotion dragged on.
with images of the previous year still livid in my mind, i opened my eyes.
next to me stood a guy much taller than me, just like last year.
like me, his arms were folded across his chest, just like last year.
looking down, i saw the dirty white shoes on my feet staring back up at me, just like last year.
shifting my head over to the side, i saw the stark white shoes of the tall guy next to me, just like last year.
my eyes fixated on my prey, my foot lifted bare centimetres above the ground, ready to pounce and step on the stark white shoe just begging to be dirtied by the sole of mine, just like last year.
i almost did it...
till the harsh reality of the present snapped me out of my silent reverie.
for the shoes didn't possess the 4 stripes of a fake adidas.
the tall guy was not joshua tay, but bchen.
instead of standing in my favourite place at the front of the row, i was now sandwiched in the middle.
instead of the quiet prattle of the classes talking, my ears were met with total silence.
there was no teacher to bare her teeth at me and ask me to stop folding my arms.
there was no teacher fanning herself vigourously and standing in the shadow of the students.
there were no year1s in the space frame staring back at me and making faces.
there was no ryan and his snide comments to give the mundane assembly a little flavour.
and even the national anthem lacked the horribly off-tune singing of qx and the overly enthu singing of darren.
nay, none of such was present.
they were all gone, lost forever in the passage of time, existant only in the deep recesses of my brain, as memories which would flourish and be stirred up to remind me of the good old days; the daily routines and intricate intricacies which hit me day by day last year, but are now forever unreachable.
isn't it strange that sometimes its the most daily routines that we treasure the most --- the trivial stuff that we took for granted and never placed much significance on? i guess it shows that, sometimes, you don't know what blessings you have till you've lost it.
i know at the end of the year we were all saying we really miss 4.9 elijah, but that we'd probably be singing a different tune when the new year started. well i'm here to say that no, i still really miss 4.9 elijah.
it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life. and i ain't feeling good.
not that i'm not optimistic about the future though (:
AMEN;
4:03 pm
